The Liar in Your Life describes the surprising and sobering reality of lying in everyday life, based on nearly three decades of research by author Robert Feldman. One of his most striking findings, that has been tested repeatedly, is that new acquaintances will lie to each other about three times in the course of a ten minute conversation. These may seem to be so-called "little white lies"—innocent evasions like "I feel fine" or "I like your dress" or "You were amazing"—but those lies exact a cost. When we know we’re being dishonest, we feel less trusting about our environment and the people around us. And those little lies create a climate for greater deceptions, leading to "a culture of lies" that pervades today’s society.
Robert S. Feldman, Ph.D., a Fellow of both the American Psychological Association and Association for Psychological Science, has examined lying and everyday deception for over 25 years.
Most often, the lies we are exposed to are not venal, but rather ways to make social interactions proceed more smoothly. People lie to be agreeable or to make us feel better about ourselves. Of course, people also lie to build themselves up or to gain some advantage over us. And many of us lie to ourselves as much as we are lied to by others.
Feldman Appears on CBS's Dr. Phil.
Dr. Phil asks Feldman, "Why do people lie, generally?" January 14, 2010.
"Teaching Truthfulness" in Proactive Black Parenting.
Article discusses Feldman's pragmatic approach to getting to the truth in others, which he calls Active Honesty Assessment. January 7, 2010.
Article in USA Today about Imposters and Party Crashers Quotes Feldman.
In a USA Today feature on celebrity imposters and lying, Feldman speculates that the Salahis, the couple who recently crashed a White House party, are extremely status conscious and probably entered gradually into deceptions until they reached a point where they couldn’t turn back. December 9, 2009.